Saturday, January 31, 2009

Ugh, Whatever...

So yesterday we had yet another meeting at work. and the HR lady was present for this one. We found out- there will be NO posting for the LP jobs; only appointments. And if someone gets appointed that doesn't want the position, it's an automatic, voluntary quit.

Not very smart, IMO.. If someone gets "appointed," doesn't want the job but is afraid of the job market that they won't be able to find another gig.. they'll take the job then the company will be "stuck" with some lousy performer. Guess it would serve them right. But whatever floats their boat...

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

We have Five Months... find another job. Yup, that was the message in our big meeting today; some jobs are moving to other service centers. Fortunately our jobs are not moving til the end of June. A couple of jobs only have a couple of months- they will be cut by the end of March. Yikes.

Of course I know of people, like Tony, who didn't get any notice, and God bless them.

And then there are the people who have worked at our company for a LONG time (like 25 years, for example) that won't be old enough and therefore won't get any retirement. At all.

There will be a limited number of postings in another (collections) department as well as at other service centers (read: move out of state, no relocation for us- only for higher-ups will they pay relocation packages). We plan to apply for our local positions and then other companies... preferably closer to our house. (Think McKinney, Frisco, Allen, Plano, Richardson, etc...)

At least we have time, and that is a blessing in itself. Wish us luck! (Pretty please?)

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Things that go BUMP!

Our heater has been unfortunately sentenced to a lifetime of slave labor since our arctic weather has arrived. Our fireplace has been doing some overtime as well. In fact, I can right now hear the ice pellets hitting the window in the office. It's gonna be a long commute in the morning. I just hope my work office is getting it too- this way I don't have to be LATE for work tomorrow!

Heater decided it was time for a break and cut off for a while, leaving me even more able to hear the ice pellets and something odd ba-bumping in the background, sort of like a heartbeat. I continue reading. Wait. ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump... That noise.... What the hell??

I continued to listen, and the noise persists. ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump... It continued, speeding up and slowing down, alternately. I felt the walls, but found no vibration (at first I though it was an outside corner of the house). Thank God.

"Honey! Come back here for a sec..." I said, motioning to Keith to join me.

ba---bump, ba----bump, ba------bump. Aw, come on... don't make a liar out of me!

Keith joined me and soon offered the most befuddled expression I had ever seen on him as the mystery noise sped up again. ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump... "What the hell," Keith wondered aloud.

Wait a minute. It's ABOVE us. Oh crap. The pipes!? ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump... I pointed at ths ceiling with a gaping mouth. What the...

"It's above us," I said, utterly confused. Did our fire...??

My thought trailed off. No, silly- it wouldn't sound like that, for sure...

Keith went across the hall and traced the nose more. ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump...

"Wait a minute! Those silly turbines," Keith and I exclaimed, nearly simultaneously. The turbines on our roof have apparently decided to collect some ice, like our cars, except they made some noise about it. "I hope they don't break," Keith stated.

"Nah, they'll be fine."

Sure enough, the turbines have calmed down from their excitement about our frigid (by our standards) weather and all is quiet again, except for the heater humming. Hopefully they stay that way for the night.


I received the call today from my doc regarding the progesterone test I had yesterday.. level was 13.1, so I O'd (thanks, but I could tell by my chart), but it's normal for conception if I am preggo. I know I'm not since we didn't try this month, pending our results of my panel, which I get a week from today (won't come soon enough!).


Monday, January 26, 2009

Countdown to fate...

...well, sorta. The company I work for is holding an all-employee meeting on Wednesday during the day... every location, every person (exception of management/supervisors- will explain that momentarily) at once. Across the country.

The managers and then the supervisors will be first; the supes will be detained in a meeting room til we leave the floor. They will have the scoop (or maybe more appropriately, poop, perhaps?) on everything.. who's gettin' the boot, who's stayin' and who will take up the landscape duties. After being strip-serached for their cell phones and PDAs so they can't text us updates. Argh.

As I stated before, as the supes finish up their meeting, we will all be ushered into our little area and given the news, yes, regarding the fate of our jobs.

I figure if one or both of us gets laid off/the boot/canned (whichever euphamism you like to call it ;)) maybe we can do a reality TV show. Us? On LOST or Survivor? Voted off the island. Very quickly. 

 Or we could become truck drivers. But could anyone actually see me, let alone us, with my two left feet (perfect for stick-shift!) manhandling- er- womanhandling one of those 18-wheeled behemoths?

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Home Makeover, Part Two

So last weekend Keith and I finally finished up our living-room painting project, and let me just start by saying we have absolutely NO regrets, whatsoever! The difference is amazing, even on camera. Enjoy!

1 side down, 1 to go!

Whoops, out of paint.. off to the store!

Finished product... YEAH!!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Honest Scraps

Here's to my buddy Ophelia for tagging me!

The rules:1) Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.

2) Show the 7 winners names and links on your blog, and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with "Honest Scrap." Well, there's no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon.

3) List at least 10 honest things about yourself.


1) I LOVE pizza, spaghetti, and almost anything chocolate... almost to a fault.

2) I get very lazy on the weekends and typically want to stay in my pajamas all day, especially on Saturday!

3) I spend ENTIRELY too much time on the internet. Seriously. Sometimes I think my poor husband feels slighted. Hmmm, maybe I should look into being paid to blog?

4) My interests in life are so diversified that it's hard for me to pind down one single career move. If it wasn't potentially so costly (education, etc) I'd do a little bit of everything!

5) I LOVE cats! Since I was a kid I always wanted to have some of my own. I once told a lady that I would have 18 cats. (Well... they can be so human-like! lol)

6) When I eat with silverware, I don't put my lips on it when I take a bit of my food. I'll move the food off the fork/spoon with teeth. I don't know why, I just do!

7) I flip to another radio station whenever a commercial break comes on. If they're all at commercial at the same time I will either A- use the CD player or B- curse myself for not updating the CD's in there already.

8) I'm a BAAAAAD clutter-bug. I have actually had a boss get on to me about it at work (*blush*). (Not in a bad way, though... we actually have a very positive relationship.)

9) I  can't open a wine bottle woth a d@mn. I just tried once again, and failed miserably, as in, I sat down, put the thing between my thighs, pulled and grunted several times to no avail. The task is now up to Keithydear. If I try anymore I'll be too exhausted to enjoy my pizza let alone a glass of fresh zinfandel. mmmmmmm...

10) I grew up as an only child. Believe it or not, it was actually kind of boring. Please don't say you wish you were me b/c of that. (I have actually had people say that to me. It's become a pet peeve as a result. Trust me, no you don't.)

And now... a big, huge TAG to: Ophelia, Jenna, Yaya, Amy, Tracy, Bethany, Natalie

Monday, January 19, 2009

I'm a Colon!

I took the idea from Yaya's Blog. Enjoy!

You Are a Colon

You are very orderly and fact driven.

You aren't concerned much with theories or dreams... only what's true or untrue.

You are brilliant and incredibly learned. Anything you know is well researched.

You like to make lists and sort through things step by step. You aren't subject to whim or emotions.

Your friends see you as a constant source of knowledge and advice.

(But they are a little sick of you being right all of the time!)

You excel in: Leadership positions

You get along best with: The Semi-Colon

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Holy CR@P!

First off, I just now realized that I have hit 50 blog posts. This will be #51. Wow.

On another note... Our cute furbaby, Bernie, is apparently getting up there in years. Keith and I estimate his age to be, eh, about 15 years or so... but anyway, Keith went running earlier today, took Mr. B with him. By the end of the run (a couple of miles at least, mind you) B was running behind his daddy today during their semi-weekly run. BEHIND.

This is the same dog that I had nicknamed "Firecracker" a couple of years ago because of the way he pulled on the leash when we walked him. I opted to take his now-deceased brother, Yankee, because Bernie pulled so much on the leash- he was the type of dog who walked you, not the normal, other way around. We estimate this mutt (probably a Lab/Pit-Bull mix) to be around 15 years old, pretty old for a dog, let alone a Lab.

Then it dawned me, as DH and I drove to the pizza parlor... Yankee, his late (labrador) brother, slowed down like this probably less than a year before he passed away (a couple of months, roughly, before DH and I got married). Uggggh... I'm not a HUGE dog lover but as much as this guy (like his bro) is a pain in the @$$ I still love him...

I just hope that Bernie, well, I know this will sound/be selfish, but I hope he is still around this time next year! With what is happening with him (vs. his bro) who know but only our Good Lord.. but yikes. I hate to think about how much, or little, time this guy has before he goes Home.

Friday, January 16, 2009

So. Incredibly. Clever!

So I logged in tonight and came up on an entertaining post while perusing my blogs. This post on Clever Girl's Keywords says it all.

However, I thought I was pretty up on my blogging skills until I read this. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoyed the post, but it reminded me of what I apparently have yet to learn: the art of keyword searches, on your own blog. Apparently, there's a way to look for keyword searches that have been done to pull up your own blog... but I have no idea how!

Anyone know? I'm dying from curiosity (OK, not dying, just sitting here typing with cold fingers. And our outside temps here are well above zero) here!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Our own Home Makeover, continued...

...yup, we've started another project!
On Sunday Keith decided rip out our dark, dreary and boring paneling in our living room.
(That's Keith behind the panels.. nothing but drywall back there! YES! A blank canvas!)


YEAH! SO much better already. I just got back from Home Depot when I took this shot.

You can't see it from here, but there's texture paint now on the formerly-paneled walls.
We plan to paint them the same color as the walls on the side (kind of a beige-tan color, looks good!).
More to come! We will probably buy the paint tomorrow or Friday to slap on there so we can move our furniture back into place. That TV is *!$%&#@ heavy!
We went to bed WAAAAY too late because we were painting but it was SO worth it...

That ugly fan at the top of the pics is eventually being replaced. Eventually.

Friday, January 9, 2009

It's been HOW long!?!? ...and other thoughts.

10 years ago this month I began my second semester as a senior in high school. Yipes. 10 years. That's a long time.

In that time I spent five (long) years getting myself through college. Unfortunately I became jaded and a tad cynical through those years. When I finally got my BA in Communications (Public Relations) in 2004 I was SOOO glad to just be OUT of there. Five months later I got my first (and only, still) full-time job.

I had started out fresh out of high school thinking I wanted to be a lawyer. Yes, the law is fascinating, but I began to realize that lawyers typically have very busy schedules. At least from what I saw at the time. Eek. That on top of a few semesters of undergrad were enough to scare me away from even the prospects of law school. LOL

I then "explored" business as a major. The classes were pretty cool, however, two sour  AWFUL professors and a b*tch of an adviser, all in one semester, was enough to totally disgust me out of that prospect. After all, if I came up on two horrible professors and one adviser in one semester, what would my odds of having many at-least-halfway-decent instructors be?  Part of me wanted to transfer colleges but financially I didn't feel that would be a wise option.

It wasn't until my final two semesters at UTA that I was able to relax. I became happy again and my grades improved, that being either from knowing I had so little time left in college or the fact that I had adopted somewhat of an "I-don't-care" attitude about grades. Perhaps a lesson could be learned from that alone.

Now that I am nearly five years out of college I have been thinking (okay, toying with) about the idea of going back to school. I know I want the most no-nonsense approach possible (i.e. I prefer to skip out on a GMAT or a GRE).

The thing I am most hung-up about is what to study! I have seriously considered journalism (becoming a TV reporter, perhaps), something medical, and even teaching. As one can see there is a pretty big gap between any of these options. My interests are probably way too diversified. LOL However, since my interests are this diversified (as they have always been) it shows in my college transcript. 16 hours here, 8 hours there.

While that may sound great for job opportunities, it seems as though recruiters want something more specific. For instance, to get into a teaching-certificate program at my local junior college (they offer this option for those who want to teach and already have a bachelor's degree), they want so many credit hours of classes in the field you desire to teach in. Bad news for me, as I don't have this number of hours in any of my studied classes (and I can't remember what the number is off the top of my head).

As for what I would teach, probably science, English or even writing, at an Elementary level. Hmmm... maybe even entry-level Spanish?

Since I do know Spanish yo hablo espanol [sic], yo pude trabajar en medicina y translatar- por eso necesitare [sic] tomar clases por mi vocabulario medico [sic]. (Since I speak Spanish, I could work in medicine and translate, but I will need to take classes for my medical vocabulary (in Spanish). *I know the grammar is off in that sentence but I don't know how to put in the accents and others on a computer.)

Or for medicine I could even work in a doctor's office... perhaps a specialist? I could work with an OBGYN or even a cardiologist. Hmmm... or even be a physician's assistant... or just relax and do medical transcription. With that, I could possibly work at home eventually.

Or, even sit down with my supervisors and seriously check into our team-lead development program at my current job.

Yikes, the possibilities. One day I will make up my mind. ;) lol

Thursday, January 8, 2009

One Week

Wow. It's only been a week since I again received devastating news that DH and myself weren't going to get a baby after all. Ugh. again. It feels like it was a month ago. It's gonna be a long month.

At least I have some stuff to distract me... I'm going to work at our local food bank toward the end of the month, oh yeah, *after* MLK day (which I have off from work).. Hopefully that will speed things up a little for me. Part of me wants this to be over with. Another side of me says Hey! Don't rush it! Don't rush 2009 away! I suppose the "other" part of me is right. Let me count my blessings and enjoy time with my family and DH and not take a moment for granted.

It's amazing what can change in a few days, let alone one week.

**Update: We did not amend the appointment since we decided not to go out of town. Nothing to do with this situation; just that we want to go somewhere later on in the year.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

13 vials!!

Yup- you read right... 13 vials of blood taken at the doc's today. They did a full RPL panel- from my chromosomes to Lupus (!this one never even ocurred to me!) to clotting disorders. I know it's not the end of the world and everything will work out but it's gonna be hard to be patient for.. the next several weeks. Yup, several weeks. They send this stuff to an outside lab for analysis.

My next appt (to find out the results) is in 4 weeks- 2/3- but I looked at our calendar afterwards and realized we have a vacation planned. ARGH! So I'm going to call in tomorrow and see if we can amend things a bit. Ugh. I hate schedules.

On the bright side of things we have taken action, so I feel much better, like we are working toward an answer. Heck, even if god-forbid I do have a clotting disorder they'll just give me blood thinners- yeah I'll bruise easily but I don't care ;) Now chromosomal I have no idea. I'm NOT having an amnio when I do stay preggo. After all this cr@p I'm not going to consciously do something to put my baby at risk.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Calling In...

So I put a call in to the doc this morning and got a call back after lunch. The doc wants to see me tomorrow. So in I go at 2pm... wish me luck!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Feeling Human Again

It's still surreal that a week ago I had a BFP. My dream was that much within reach. A BFP. My very own. A few days later though it slipped away fairly silently. I literally woke up to (graphic expressions removed) AF. I had had no spotting, cramping or anything. But it did seem a little easier this time around- maybe becuase it caught me fairly off-guard? Or because it was so early?

Tomorrow is the day I will definitely talk to the doc; the results of my second set of b/w will be in, probably in the afternoon. I will call her in the morning and advise her of the w/e's events. Not going to be fun but I am sure I will make it. I will keep you guys updated on what she says... I have a suspicion that progesterone (or, should I say, a lack thereof) may be the issue. We find out more tomorrow.

Friday, January 2, 2009

The Veil

This is a post I wrote right after my second of my two miscarriages, which happened on 1-1-09:

Darkness overwhelms me as I try to move around. I can't see. I can't move.

A dark veil consumes me as I try to say or do anything. I just lay there. I can't see. I can't move. I can't talk.

I grow sadder and sadder. I shut my eyes. Total darkness. A tension builds in my throat and tears begin flowing.

I sob uncontrollably. The tears flow more. I fall asleep.

A silence is over me as I open my eyes. I look around but still can't see. The veil still clouds me.

But today I can move. I get up and fumble around. Putting one foot in front of the other I leave the room.

I see light. Beautiful light. It gets brighter with every step I take. I can feel. I can hear.

Warm bodies, soft, reassuring voices. I recognize one of them and smile.

Suddenly the veil becomes lighter. The light becomes brighter and I can make out the form of a person.

I feel energized and smile again. I move around a little more. The light becomes even brighter.

Warm, soft arms envelop me as I move closer to the form. I embrace it as I sob once again, this time out of relief.

I feel free as the veil is now gone. No more weight. No more darkness. Nothing but warm, yellow light and soft, strong arms to embrace me.

I have nothing to fear except myself. The sadness is gone. I feel light again.

Keepin' on...

Unfortunately I couldn't reach my doc for comment today but will definitely keep trying Monday. More to come on this developing story.

While I am sad, hurt and disappointed that this has now happened to me not once, but TWICE, I have the strength, that God has given me, to count my blessings and look ahead. My DEAR, sweet, gorgeous, totally awesome husband. I don't know where I'd be without him. My mom. Ah heck, my whole entire family (immediate AND extended)! My cats (cute but psycho) and yes, even the dog (cute little PIA). My awesome iVillage friends, my "IRL" friends, blog buddies. My life. My health. My JOB (even though it has its moments). The Earth-babies that aforementioned husband and I WILL have one day. The exhileration and excitement of holding my LO in my arms for the first time.

While some tears break through and some sadness hits still here and there, the rays of sunshine poke through the now-tattered dark veil that lay between me and them just yesterday. I know I need to keep these rays strong because eventually they will weaken and wear out the rest of this disgusting veil.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

New Year's SUCKS!! (same as iVillage*)

Guess I should watch what I wish for. This morning I saw a little bleeding, took another HPT and sure enough, BFN. Not sure if my doc is in tomorrow or not but I definitely want to talk to her.. of course she may just want to wait to see what the b/w says on Monday and go from there, but I think I definitely want to get some testing (clotting? sturctural?) done.

I think I am a disaster magnet for New Years. A few years back we had an ice storm on NYE and I had my first car wreck- b/c of the ice. Then the next year I dislocated my kneecap at work, same date. Bleh. I hate New Year's.

I'll say it again... NEW YEAR'S SUCKS!!

I swear, if it wasn't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all. I'd actually prefer the latter, I THINK...

*I don't intend to say that iVillage sucks, just that this post is the same as what I posted over there... *blush*
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