Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Words of Wisdom: Wait for it.

"Good things come to those who wait," my mom always said to me, throughout my life.

I had just graduated college the spring before and started my full-time job a few weeks before, and I was (unofficially) engaged to my sweetheart. Things were looking up.

I was just engaged. Literally. Said sweetheart, I'll call him Y, had just asked me while driving down a quiet country road that evening. It wasn't exactly the stereotypical romantic storybook proposal, but it was unexpected. And awesome. I had spent the evening floating on Cloud 9 (which, by the way, is awesome transportation) through Downtown, and landed on my doorstep, kissing Y goodbye for the night. However, the high of good news came crashing down with news of a death in the family (whose funeral we could not make, due to financial reasons).

Some weeks later, we made the way to our fave restaurant and had the family meeting, i.e. Y asked my family for his hand. We wanted to marry that next fall. It went well, for the most part, except one thing, which was made clear over time... my mom was not pleased about my choice. We had many a discussion, and I'll not-so-proudly admit that some were more like catfights. After all, she had a point. I had just graduated from college and found a job in the real world. I hadn't really... LIVED yet.

But I was determined that Y was The One. Undeterred, we looked at homes together (albeit totally on our own, homes that were under construction). We discussed how we'd raise our kids. Still, my mom pressed. She felt that Y wasn't The One. He wasn't right for me. It got under my skin. It irked me.

Finally, I caved. I sat down, shut up and did some soul searching. I hadn't even had my own place yet. Heck, I hadn't even had my first real review yet at my job (you know, the one that doesn't scream "We are going to throw you under that DART bus if you don't do XYZ!"). I hadn't even experienced what it was like to... have my own place. My own space. Breathe. I hadn't even really stopped to... you know, smell the new roses that had bloomed right in front of me.

That night, I swallowed my pride and conceded. I admitted that my own gut had even hinted that Y wasn't the right man for me, and that mom's advice to not marry him had affected me as well. I made the difficult decision to call everything off (fortunately, no dress or rings were bought yet, so that made it a *tiny* bit easier). After all, good things come to those who wait, right? Shoot, had I been more prayerful about it, it probably wouldn't have taken so long.

Fast forward about a year. I was settled in my own place and my job was going well. I loved it. Newly single from another relationship that I knew wasn't compatible, I had vowed to take it easy, no dating for a while. That lasted all but a couple of months. I met the man who later became my husband and we hit it off.

And here I sit, now, with two young tornadoes girls, watching Lalaloopsy Land as I type this and talk to them. My husband is out and about and we are sitting in our home, living the American Dream. Thanks to heeding what was probably the best advice my mom gave to me, I am so blessed right now. Good things do come to those who wait!



Kim said...

Thanks for posting this, Kim! I know it's not an easy topic to discuss much less admit to. I understand all too well except, I wasn't fortunate enough to get out before the wedding and the baby. My ex-husband had my entire family fooled. They thought he was my perfect match. It took me months to admit, after I took my 17-week pregnant belly five hours away, that I knew deep down before we got married that I shouldn't marry him. I still sometimes don't want to forgive myself because now I have a son that I have to explain things to one day. But, that's where God has to step in and help me through. I don't know why God puts us through such difficulties, especially knowing a child would be in the mix of my story, but nonetheless, He does and we have to go with it. Now, as you said, I have to sit back and wait for it. Wait for the match God has for me and the father He has for Elijah.

CrazyMom said...

Big hugs to you!! My mom raised me as a single parent and while it's hard, it's definitely do-able!

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